how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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