What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
