either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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