guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
