wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
