Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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