You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
