I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
