dude i'm inner monologue high
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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