I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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