It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
