Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
