my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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