Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
