forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
