the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
