just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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