His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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