So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
