We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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