i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
