Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My feet surprised me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
