If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
should my penis look like a turkey
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
