She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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