I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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