Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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