my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
