That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize