So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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