i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
