ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
