That's intense
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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