He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
