im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We're too hungover to prance.
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