you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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