Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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