We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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