I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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