Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
try to milk me bitch
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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