Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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