Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We left an ass print on the piano.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
that may or may not have been my penis.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
