If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
