So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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