Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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