apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
