She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm just crazy horny about you
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
