So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
