How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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