god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize