So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
