If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
