So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize