apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
