I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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