Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
