He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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