I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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