He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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