Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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