Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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